Ira matris
by Arien Halfelven
Summary: Mother's anger - at her beloved child. Super-sincerity leads to disaster. And Matsuka is declared guilty...


Story by Arien Halfelven (me)

Written thanks to Clio Selene

Translated by Clio Selene

Inspired by Keith Anyan himself (dark side has better cookies, as usual)

For Clio

I refer to main system as Mother, which is not exactly the canon version, but it fits this story better

I have no idea of military ranks, so it's kind of creative chaos in here

I love comments

Have pleasure in reading

**Ira Matris**

Mother's anger

Keith was watching him.

Matsuka felt like curling in the bottom of his superior's wardrobe and pretending to be a speck of dust on Colonel's boots. Or squeezing under Colonel's bed and never, ever, leaving there. Or settling for ever in a desk drawer, the lowermost that Keith never touched since it was additional, needless and impractical. Matsuka was so scared that his thought started to get out of control and thrash about his commander's office. It took his last effort to keep those reprehensible mental intrusions away from Keith himself.

And Keith was still watching him.

Matsuka was so scared he was almost crying. Since long he hadn't been feeling so bad. For a split second, he amazed at such irony; here, he had almost managed to forget how it was to live in such fear. Here, by Keith's side. He had unlearned feeling such a pitiful, immense fear. Now, it all was back.

Because Keith was watching him.

He rarely did it. In fact, he never did it. Looking at Matsuka? What for? Keith never did pointless things. He never watched his office equipment, or couch, or chairs, or coffee mugs, or Matsuka. In due times, he would look at his soldiers, documents, strategic plans and space maps, displays, new boots. Sometimes he even stared at his internal way towards the Terra, unapproachable like the last bastion of some abandoned star. Unapproachable for Matsuka.

And now, damn it, he was simply watching him!

Don't ask questions. Don't stare. Don't speak up without being asked. Don't think without being asked. That means, think aloud. That means, psionically aloud. Well, better not do anything without being asked. And don't ask. That means, not that it's forbidden. But better not do it anyway. Yes.

But what to do when Keith was watching him like this?

Matsuka was horrified and completely confused. Never - literally, never - had Keith been watching him. Sometimes, he even doubted that the Colonel knew his face. Of course, he had surely seen it, registered and remembered in his reliable mind forever and ever amen. But Matsuka didn't believe Keith to bother himself with conceiving his adjutant like this.

So why he was watching him now?

Matsuka tried not to chatter his teeth, not to spill the coffee nor to look at looking Keith. It was not good. It definitely was not good. Keith was uneasy - and it spelled disaster. Great Boom. Terror and calamity. One could only, tensed up and frightened, wait until... Until... Until...

Keith rose from his chair.

Matsuka shivered clasping his hands as if begging for mercy. Don't panic. Panicking wouldn't do. After all, it was Keith. One always knew what to expect of Keith. Well, nothing. Nothing would happen. That is. What was Jonah Matsuka for Colonel Anyan to be done anything by him?

But why he was looking like this?

The Elite officer stood straight, his shoulders on the same level. Lips with no smile, slightly curved in discontent. Eye-lashes lowered, as if waiting to shoot a look at Matsuka like a bolt from the blue.

Matsuka already felt shot in his very heart.

Any moment now and he wouldn't stand it and snap. Or say something. Or run away. In any case, he would compromise himself irreparably. Before Keith's very eyes! Before Keith's eyes that kept watching him!

"Today, I was talking with Mother."

Ah.

Ah. Yes. Of course. Matsuka understood - oh, how well he understood - that after having talked with Mother one could be unbalanced, feel discomfort, or behave strangely. It was well understandable. But, for Terra's blue, not when this one was Keith! He, of all people, was never uneasy, unhappy or upset after having talked with Mother. In general, talking with Mother did him good, had good effect on him, and so on. Of course. Keith Anyan was Mother's beloved child. And it was good, wasn't it? And it was good that it was good. Only Matsuka'd had to hide deeply inside him those emotions, improper and unwelcome in his commander's office, as Keith came back from those talks with face... well, almost the same he used to have during his morning coffee.

Not fair.

And now Keith had come back from talking with Mother with face completely different. Such face that one could tell it wasn't Keith's normal expression. Matsuka didn't know any more whether it was good or bad. Probably bad. And, indeed, from that point it was to get only worse.

"Today, I was talking with Mother about you."

Silence.

Ah... hah. Of course. Naturally. It had to happen one day, right? Such creature like Matsuka couldn't count on a lifelong shelter. There was no place for him - not even under Mother's beloved child's wings. Especially not there. And now he was going to hear his sentence. Well.

"It's never crossed my mind to talk with her about you," Keith shook his head, displeased - either of his own neglect or Mother's sudden inquisitiveness. Much to Matsuka's surprise, the shades of his thoughts indicated his superior was angry rather with Mother than his own adjutant.

Unbelievable.

"It seems others helped me out," Keith sneered. "The crew members have, of course, their regular sessions with Mother. It appeared you are quite a popular talking point."

Matsuka went utterly speechless. He? Popular? Popular talking point? He? About what could others talk with Mother a'propos Jonah Matsuka? Parameters of the coffee mugs, perhaps? Or, maybe...

Oh Mother.

Maybe they had guessed. Someone must have guessed. Crew members used to give him strange looks. Surely they had guessed long ago. And now someone had given it to Mother straight that Keith Anyan was keeping a monster. Hiding a freak that he should have killed. And Mother... Now, Mother...

Oh, no!

Matsuka jumped up like a string and grasped his commander by the elbows, ready to kneel down and beg him.

"She isn't angry with you, is she? You won't have any troubles because of me, will you? You can't have any troubles because of me! Tell her it was my fault. It was all my fault. She can't be angry with you! She... Ow...?

The tip of a stun gun hit his back.

"What did I tell you about attacking me...?"

Matsuka fell to his knees and covered his face. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he whispered through his numb lips. That was what he'd brought about. He could only bring misfortune. And pour hot water on the coffee beans. And destroy everything, disturb and break. Cursed, cursed, cursed. Even Keith...!

"Mother is angry with me," with one arm, Keith raised his choking and despairing adjutant from his knees and gave him a cold look. "Mother is displeased with me. Because of you. I have a trouble. Because of you."

His voice was slightly disbelieving, and Matsuka lowered his head. Of course, Colonel hadn't expected that such a funny little monster would bring him troubles, let alone Mother's anger. But Matsuka should have known his presence would bring calamity.

"I'm sorry..."

Almost casually, Keith gave him a shake and then pushed him away, so that trembling boy touched the wardrobe with his back.

"Now," a shudder, "you will have to fix it."

Of course. Matsuka straightened his shaking back. It would not do that Keith had troubles because of him. Jonah Matsuka would appease Mother. Maybe some spectacular execution...? Vivisection of a mutant? Maybe self-immolation on the bridge...? If he submitted to punishment humbly enough, Mother would surely forgive Keith. She had to forgive him. After all, he was Mother's beloved child!

"If I'm correct, it was Serge who first took liberty of such a... super-sincerity. After this, Mother knew what to ask others about."

Serge! It was like a stab in the back. They were never enemies or rivals; sometimes Matsuka believed them to be something similar to friends. Well, maybe rather colleagues; monsters didn't have friends, and friends didn't have monsters. Anyway, they were comrades in arms. Mates. To think it was Serge who had informed Mother...!

It hurt.

Matsuka lowered his head. It really hurt. To think that Keith - ruthless and adamant Members Elite and Mother's beloved son - had never, ever, mentioned Jonah Matsuka's existence to her. This thought had been sweet since the very beginning - and bitter, too, for how Matsuka had really paid him back for such a favour? He had brought misfortune to his commander. While Serge - friendly and unpretentious Serge - had gone straight to Mother and exposed the monster. Well. Maybe it was better this way, for Keith. He would never exposed himself to Mother's anger again. Now, all it...

What?

Commander had been talking for a while now, and Matsuka hadn't really heard, dwelling in his remorse.

"Apparently, the Third Squadron believes it to result from the lack of prospects: I have nothing better at hand, so I use you. Then, the Relief Squad presents a more... romantic version. If I'm correct, the Shift Commander swore to Mother that we've been holding hands while moving from the lower deck to the bridge."

"Eer..."

"The Fifth Squadron takes bets whether we will announce our relationship before coming back to the base or not. After the main computer performed prognostic calculations on request of the meritorious crew members, the bets quadrupled. Mother also notified me of - which I wasn't informed by the Shift Commander about! - that you've been under the volunteer protection of the Prevention Squad for weeks now. They have foiled four attempts on your life already."

"Someone... wanted to kill me?"

"According to Mother's data, rather damage permanently. Three out of four planned to castrate you. Apparently, you have become quite disliked among some crew members who would rather, as Mother put it, warm my bed themselves."

"Mother..."

"That's what she said. She told me a lot. She is very displeased. And it all started when Serge claimed that to be very sweet."

"Serge...! Sweet!"

"That's what Mother said. He was, it seems, very stubborn when pressing his opinion. When I called him for a talk - which was right before my coming here - he was as defiant. He still claims it's sweet."

"But... what?"

"You and me."

"But... how?"

"If you believe the Third Squadron, then in every possible way in every possible position. The Prevention Squad secured evidence that we had sex on the control panel of the ship."

"But... We?"

"Do you imagine someone else dares to have sex on the control panel of my ship?"

"But... We?"

"Matsuka, have you turned deaf? Have you lost your cognitive functions completely? I've been explaining you from the beginning: starting from Serge and ending with the cleaning team, all the crew has had serious talk with Mother in last few days. All, without exceptions, are sure we have a relationship."

"We..."

"You and I. We."

"But... What kind of relationship?"

"Intimate. Romantic. Erotic. Sadomasochistic. Civil. Symbiotic. Parasitic. You may count the members of the crew; the interpretations of our romance are as many, more or less."

"And Mother..."

"Mother is very displeased."

Matsuka ceased trying to stand. His knees gave way, and he slid down by the wardrobe, falling on his bottom. He was looking at Keith, eyes round like two Jupiters. It... It was impossible. The crew... They simply couldn't have told Mother such rubbish! They couldn't believe in such rubbish! No-one say anything, never... No-one asked... They only...

Gave him strange looks?

But people had always been giving Matsuka strange looks! Surely, not everyone could mean it this way? Not on Noah, not in Academy, not here! Not everyone, at least!

Oh Mother.

Mother... Mother... Mother had every right to be furious. Mother must have been furious. Keith... Oh, no. Not Keith. She couldn't just punish Keith because of the crew's foolish fancies! She should punish Matsuka. It was him who walked on the deck and made people give him strange looks. And Keith was innocent. Unharmed by any sinful thought. Untouched by Matsuka.

Oh Mother.

Relationship. Relationship with Keith. His relationship with Matsuka. Romance. Romance. Romance. No, Mother couldn't have believed it. It was too ridiculous.

"You did tell her it was all rubbish, didn't you?" he inquired frantically. "You told her nothing had happened? That we didn't? That you didn't? Surely she believed you? She must have believed you!"

"Mother knows I always tell her only truth," Keith sent him a pious look of Mother's obedient child. "Mother knows my mind and knows everything about humans' doing."

But, Matsuka wanted to point out, he wasn't a human. He was a monster. He bit his tongue; such comments weren't needed here. Mother was already furious.

"Promise her you will get rid of me at once," he suggested eagerly. "The crew will stop saying such things, and all. Or... How did you put it... Prospects. You will find better prospects. For... f-for s-sure..."

Keith waved impatiently, sending Matsuka's miserable muttering onto the margin of events. "I assured Mother I will correct my mistakes, of course."

"O-of course!" Matsuka backed him, stuttering. "She can't be angry with you. I'll do anything."

"Of course you will!" Keith gave him an indignant look. "I expect you will do faultlessly."

"Yes, sir!" Matsuka straightened to attention. "I will do anything. Anything. Really. You can't have troubles because of me; I won't let it happen."

Commander frowned and gave him somewhat petulant look. "I already have troubles," he muttered. "We'll have to arrange the day schedule anew. In the middle of a week!"

"Eeer..." Matsuka was puzzled. "But what are we going...?"

A pious look of Mother's beloved son made him even more uneasy. "We're going to fulfil Mother's will, of course."

"Well, yes," Matsuka nodded. "But how? Now, at once? Shall I go?"

Keith snorted with indignation. "Of course not now! I still have several reports to evaluate, a round of the upper deck and two inspections to do. We're going to start tomorrow. Bring me my coffee, like always - and then we shall see."

"You mean... Coffee first?" Matsuka made sure. This thought was both sweet and bitter; Keith didn't want to send him away without having a coffee from him. Without a final goodbye. The last coffee before execution. It was going to be the best coffee Keith Anyan had ever drunk. It was.

"Hmmm."

Matsuka blinked; Keith was looking at him with a strange confusion in his eyes.

"You think... We should start earlier? Before the coffee?" the tone of Colonel's voice indicated he found such a thought shocking.

"Oh, no, no, coffee first! Of course that coffee first," his adjutant ensured him quickly with a sad smile. "I wouldn't leave you without coffee."

Keith nodded, clearly satisfied. "Well, now you know everything. We can start as planned. Oh, yes, make a plan."

Matsuka went speechless. For a moment, he stared at Keith, stunned. This... This wasn't sweet anymore.

"_I_ should make a plan?" he uttered.

His commander shuddered. "Of course," he decided emphatically. "I want to see the draft no later than tomorrow at noon. I ensured Mother we will start without delay."

"But what start?"

"Our romance, of course."

Matsuka had been sitting on the floor by the wardrobe and moving forth and back for a while now. Now he tilted to the side and lay down.

"Romance."

"I explained you already," Keith put his fingers together, frowning. "The crew reported on our intimate relationship to Mother. Mother called me to account. I denied everything. And Mother..."

"Mother...?"

"Was furious."

"Huh!"

"She was extremely disappointed. She said that my attitude was unacceptable, and that I don't care a bit about my development if I waste such an opportunity."

"O-o-opportunity..."

"Mother expressed her indignation in seventeen different tones. She reminded she hadn't raised me to be an imbecile and a loser who can't use the life when the time and opportunity occur. She expected more of me. She still does."

"More..."

"She has done the statistical breakdown of the opinions another men have on you. In most opinions, you're sweet. Mother finds it a proper qualification to having a romance."

"Proper..."

"Mother expects us to consummate our relationship before Saturday. I ensured her everything will go smoothly."

"A-ha..."

"Despite being disappointed, Mother doesn't rule out forgiving me. It all depends on what I will have to report to her."

"A-aaa..."

"You'd better apply yourself to that plan, Matsuka. And don't forget about the coffee. We're going to start right after the coffee."

"A-haa..."

Keith Anyan nodded in satisfaction and left.

Jonah Matsuka was laying still and looking at the ceiling, his eyes bright and round like two Terras.

The best coffee Keith Anyan had even drunk. It had to be this way.

Right...?

the end


End file.
